


Bloom|Erwin

by tuliplumango



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Nightmares, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 11:32:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19440601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tuliplumango/pseuds/tuliplumango
Summary: Thank you so much for reading! If you have any critiques or advice, let me know! <3





	Bloom|Erwin

Erwin wakes with a sharp gasp. At first he sees nothing but darkness as he whips his head around, disoriented and his heart pounding painfully. It is only when he feels a hand on his shoulder that he begins to remember where he is.

He mumbles an apology for waking her and she hushes him in response. He rubs away the grim images from his eyes and lowers himself to lay against her chest, listening to her heartbeat and soothing whispers. "It's okay, Erwin. You're safe." 

She strokes his hair and gently rocks them back and forth. It is still very new to have him so easily allow her to comfort him. Before he would turn towards paperwork and whisky, leaving her to lay next to the cold sweat and terror stained into the sheets. He would need to be truly shaken to succumb.

Now that everything has changed, he allows himself her nurturing. They remain like that for some time until their hearts beat in sync and his breathing has slowed. "Go back to sleep, I'll be alright." She knows that it takes him a long time to fall asleep again. Every time he closes his eyes there are the screams, the smell of blood and dirt, and the carnage all around him.

He sits up and fumbles around the nightstand for a match, lighting the nearby candle and filling the room with a warm glow. The electric lamp is next to it and is brighter than a lit candle or gaslamp, but the bulb is not as gentle on the eyes as a flame. 

The electricity, along with other new and efficient things from the Mainland have been exciting for the people of the island, but the changes have been so sudden for some that only a few fully adapt to the new age and most prefered to take it slowly. Those who were eager simply took a boat across the channel to start a new life. 

Erwin looked at his surroundings and couldn't help but remember how cold and awful his old sleeping quarters were. The nights he spent there alone with his guilt and fear were almost unbearable. The only times it could be managed was if (Name) was able to sneak in from time to time. There is no more sneaking or worrying, holding eachother painfully tight every time not knowing which time would be their last.

Now they have been given the liberty of enjoying their time together without fear. That thought alone is enough to ward of the heaviness in his chest, but the memories continue to flash in his head. He stands up, and (Name) doesn't ask where he is going because she knows that after every nightmare, he goes and does one thing. 

He walks out of the room into the dark hallway, and goes to the room where a gaslamp still burns low through the door. He tiptoes in and already feels his mind go blank as he looks down into the crib at two sleeping babies, resting nose to nose with a soft fleece blanket over their small bodies.

Six months since their birth and he is still as enamoured as the moment he saw them after hours of agonizing waiting and worrying. He doesn't look away from them when (Name) walks in as well and takes a seat in the rocking chair next to the crib. She knows she should sleep since they deplete so much energy from her, but she refuses to sleep unless she feels Erwin beside her. She smiles as the little girl stretches and rests an arm over her brother. 

Erwin kneels beside her and takes her hand as they both watch their children. "They're getting big. Soon we'll have to get another crib for one of them" He says as he reaches through the wooden bars and strokes his son's tiny fist with his finger. 

She hums, only half listening to him. She remembers never even daring to want for this kind of life, where they have their own home far away from where the walls used to stand, on a hill overlooking the sea. She remembers how disheartened she was when Erwin told her that he could never allow himself to marry lest he would die and brand her a widow. Suppressing all hope within her was what she learned to do for years. Only recently has she truly begun to hope for the future and what it holds, that new optimism with her brought to life by her little ones. 

It takes noticing the weight of Erwin's hand on her cheek for her to realize that she was crying, too lost in the thoughts of her past melancholy. He asks if she is alright and she nods, holding the hand that cups her cheek as she gives him a reassuring smile. 

"They're just so sweet when they sleep. It makes me forgot how badly they make me want to pull out my hair sometimes." They both laugh softly, and (Name) wipes away her tears on the sleeve of her night gown. 

"We should try to get some sleep while we can. Come." Erwin stands and leads her by the hand into their bedroom, laying down first so that she lays on his chest, his remaining arm wrapping around her. 

They both close their eyes but neither can truly fall asleep yet. The life they've been blessed with came with the massive price of the lives of others. The fields that their children will one day play on will be nourished by corpses of the brave who offered their hearts for them. The carnage reduced to some pages in a textbook.

Though they look forward to the future, the past will never cease its torment. They will never truly be able to move forward, the ghosts of Erwin's friends and comrades will forever hover above him. The memories of sadness and tragedy that engulfed their cities will have (Name) absorbed into her own head at random moments. 

But they will reap new happiness to accompany the darkness. Their children, their new life, will be a flower that blooms on a mass grave.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you have any critiques or advice, let me know! <3


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